A Balancing Act

Life is not unusually just a little bit random at the moment; in truth it always is what with being freelance as well as accommodating Cruella’s ever more innovative behaviour. At times it can become more than a wee bit challenging even a bit tedious; the advent of the special powers my MS has brought to my daily routine has curiously brought almost infinite patience! Admittedly I wasn’t someone who flew off the handle at a millisecond’s notice but I did (politely) get a bit cross on occasions; these days such emotions would use up energy I frankly need for ‘keeping up appearances’. So to the yummy mummies I angered in the car park in Llandaff last week – my crime was failing to anticipate the exuberant excitable jumping of the small children in their care – I say (a) I was nowhere near driving into your kiddy laden carriage or the indeed the slightly larger (oops older) ones on reins – (are they in training for riding the ponies one plans to stable in Pontcanna Fields per chance (perhaps sporting the range of pink equestrian wear the large breasted former model – (whose name escapes me temporarily)-  has recently launched entrepreneurially on to the market) and (b) calm down I can’t lip read nor hear you through the car window! Oh and whilst you were berating me your blonde mate behing you barely manage to swallow a smile (reassuringly someone saw the funny side of your outburst).

Smug mothers do get under a Spinster’s skin every now and then. As if procreation is a special gift, of course from the perspective of those unable to conceive it is, but please let’s keep the breeding business in perspective! I’m all for supporting women to return to work with tax breaks for child care but pause a moment and think how the government seldom, if ever, ‘rewards’ the responsibly single person. On the matter of government support I was talking to a friend recently about her son who has been engaged for 3 plus years; we were pondering when he might leave home releasing both space in the house and in her daily schedule. Her son had informed her he wasn’t ready to leave home just yet; the truth of the matter (universally acknowledged  in private but not in public), is that the more he gets to know the person he is engaged to the less keen he is on the idea of getting married to her!

Having met said young woman I have every sympathy for my friend’s son as she is rather high maintenance both emotionally and in so many other ways. It is a pity he doesn’t feel able to broach the subject with his financee; I would tend towards using the phrase spineless if the young man wasn’t spinally challenged and consequently wheelchair bound. But to coin a phrase used on me by, an empathy free, former colleague ‘you can’t blame everything on your MS (insert the condition as appropriate)’. Poor chap is more than a little bit scared of his – unlikely to ever be – plus one; my friend and I often find ourselves discussing the young woman’s hormonally induced (bad) behaviour. Now we all get PMT sometimes during our life but you don’t often meet women who suffer from the horrors 3 out of every 4 weeks as said young woman seems to. The consequence is rather a lot of work for my already run ragged friend.

Part of this reluctance to get married relates to the experience of a friend of the young man’s. His friend has recently got married to another disabled friend and everyone is very happy that the relationship has worked out; they are genuinely in love with an enviable affection for each other. The financial impact on them as a couple is profound and seems unfair. Now their income is assessed as a couple each of them will have to pay £50/week to attend the day centre which as single people they were exempt. The combined care needs of the couple are still the same but somehow they are now expected to pay for a significant amount of it. And yet all they have done is follow the government’s good practice guide to a successful society and get married!

Or is the government and its Big Society only aimed at the able bodied (and able minded)? Perhaps that’s it, the disabled anmongst us are there to be subjected to the Big Society but not considered as being contributors? This morning the government announcing the relaxation of planning permissions/guidelines by allowing the private sector house builders to concentrate on, well, private sector housing i.e. ones that people will buy – no need to also build affordable housing. For affordable housing, the report helpfully clarified, read Council housing. So precisely where pray are those unable to get a mortgage for a range of reasons, supposed to live? Well of course there are the properties people can’t sell, perhaps even some of the ones the private sector builders will now be ‘rushing’ to construct for the undersupplied house buying market (assuming they can get a mortgage of course)!

Oops best stop this line of conversation as I’m about to find myself in a fast spin and me balance is somewhat compromised at the moment! The latest on the balance front is rather amusing for my viewing public; newsflash weebles can wobbly at alarming angles before they fall over – I’m thinking of offering my services advising on the quality of the internal house door. Of late I have found myself practically kissing the loo door when getting of the pot as it were! You know the act of standing to redress oneself before exiting the tai bach (that’s toilet to my non Welsh speaking readers)? One needs to lean forward to pull up ones trousers (and undergarments) enabling the zip/buttons to be fastened. Well it’s all quite simple if ones core body is in alignment and strong enough to perform the action smoothly. If not then the action becomes three actions; one to lean forward, two to pull up clothes and three to adopt a suitable erect pose from which to exit the premises.

I have managed not to end up with a bruise on me forehead but only just. In public places I need to ensure me mouth is closed to avoid ending up (unintentionally) licking, (or kissing), the inside of the door! And how many of us do have a tendency to put our tongues out when concentrating? More than you’d think! And brace yersleves ladies I haven’t nearly finished on the balance front yet! It gets better; as an aside (its 1234) feeling a bit hungry I was about to get something to eat until I remembered I was fasting today! Back to compromised balance; I’ve discovered that I can no longer laugh whilst walking or standing. If I do I have a tendency to list (a la a drunk person or a ship)! Seriously I do! The swimming pool changing rooms are a particular hazard it seems; whenever my energy reserves have been seriously exploited the whole co-ordination business is frankly laughable, (poor choice of phrase), in terms of my competence! Me mate and I were giggling like teenage girls in the showers while examining the pain patches the doctor recently prescribed. Yes I’ve finally found a sensible suitably qualified professional in the practice; one who comes with common sense and initiative (plus a physique to give a gal palpitations)! One feels ones cup runneth over; hey ladies the Spinster’s won the bl**dy lottery!

Anyway I was showing my friend the red marks left by the previous days patch only to realise today’s patch was no longer insitu! What a quandary? Where is it? Should we tell someone and would they have to drain the pool? And as its been recently taken over by the private sector would they charge me for the inconvenience? And then we spotted it; on the floor of the showers – and as I leant over to pick it up I felt Cruella take over the controls! And the floor’s wet as the shower’s on! So we did a little jig to avoid scrutinising the grouting between the tiles (and don’t give me the non-slip spiel)!

Of course that set us off didn’t it – I’m grazing 6 foot whilst me friend is within reaching distance of 5 foot! And as our fellow swimmers drift in to the shared space they just see two naked women apparently worse for wear at 740 am! So laughing whilst standing is out; we tried it on dry land whilst getting in the car but that didn’t work either as for some reason even something mildly amusing makes me walk i.e. wobbly backwards!

On that note I need to pop out for a birthday present now the UPS man, (with whom I seem to be developing a degree of intimacy on account of repeat ordering from Gudren Sjodren) has called with my latest order! Yes mother I failed to comprehend the conversation we had when I said the cord two piece – (see cord tunic and trousers at http://www.gudrunsjoden.com/uk/clothes/collection/wardrobe-essentials/weaves  ) – was great and I said I planned to order it in another colour on account of its flexibility and you suggested I might just wear the one I’d got alot! Quite a curious comment me thinks. Ladies take a look at the autumn collection it’s really quite wonderful in its innovative creativity! http://www.gudrunsjoden.com/uk


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