Short Cuts and Consequences

scout postThere is something about the arrival of the Scout Christmas Post especially when you have decided this year you won’t send Christmas cards and or you weren’t organised to take advantage of this annual good will mission. Now I’m in a quandry; will I look like a miserable Spinster if I don’t reciprocate? And yes I got a card from someone I haven’t seen this year; a super organised person adept at the efficient impersonal festive message. You know the kind of person who made you feel inadequate when you were younger? It’s the signing of the Charity Christmas card from the sender, sender’s spouse and children completed with a printer label. That’s where I go wrong, as with many things in life (both personally and professionally), I spend too much time and pay too much attention to making the card personal; just a little bit special! Having now talked myself into it there’s the question of which Charity to support…

I’m sure I’m not alone in testing my resolve to its absolute limits on occasions. My problem, or blind spot, is an absence of a sense of proportion. If you’re going to be in discomfort for some reason, in for a penny etc; yesterday I had a lovely day doing very little of consequence and yet valuable in its own way. Spending time with friends, good friends, is seldom time wasted. We began by browsing our favourite boutique; I’d been earlier in the week and had spied a gorgeous red velvet jacket. I hadn’t tried it on in part because I was with a young friend whose recently graduated/currently unemployed budget wouldn’t stretch to these prices. It seems insensitive to not exactly flout one’s ability to treat oneself albeit occasionally (even though you’ve worked hard to be able to do this) but I prefer not to somehow.

And the palaver of detaching my crutches from my arms is enough of an excuse; but I would look gorgeously festive in red velvet! The urge to locate and kidnap this item was made more urgent when the ‘madder red’ velvet dress arrived from Gudren Sjodren (the Swedish label I favour); red it was not, burnt orange it was! And to quote Mrs Clark from The Medicine Show it was NASTY; most certainly not nice in my humble opinion! So another date with the UPS man has been made for Wednesday – do I comment on the brown woolly beany hat he has taken to wearing to ward off the cold? Does he perhaps fear frost bite on his vulnerable bald head? Best I keep these ponderings to myself as I think I already frighten him!

After browsing the sophisticated couture in a Pontcanna street littered with great places to eat we ended up in the burger/diner joint which frankly has seen better days. The food was passable but it’s never a good sign when both relish dishes are empty  – I am partial to corn relish but when you find yerself shovelling ney smearing it on a definitely not homemade chicken burger! Of course we should have booked somewhere but that makes a relaxed Saturday a bit too organised and as we were working round my chum’s facial that was quite enough dates in the diary for two gals catching up. And that brings me back to testing my resolve and the accommodation necessitated by Cruella’s recent activity.

Another friend and I have discussed electrolysing our facial hair for years so I tagged along to the Saturday appointment. A lovely woman who was responsible for sending my friend’s beardy bits on a one way trip to Siberia booked me in for an assessment on Tuesday.  It was her parting shot that sent a shiver down my spine – ‘if you could avoid plucking between now and then so I can see what we’re dealing with. And if you really have to then cut the hair with scissors.’ Oh my god that’s a whole – one (Sunday), two (Monday) and two and a half days! I’m already conscious of the hole where my tooth snapped off – that can be masked with a Fentanyl ‘lolly’ (or a cigarette). Heavens a canny plan for accessorising is called for to distract with a polo neck with a liberal lashing of jewellery!

Well today is day two – well one really but the conversation took place on Saturday afternoon and I had the evening to contend with. I seem to have developed a Blofeld chin stroking habit which is fine when any stubble can be addressed with tweezers but when this ain’t an option it’s a tad stressful to say the least! I’ve decided to allow myself a little light tidying up of the eyebrows as a compromise solution; seems reasonable to me! What will I do with the hours a week that electrolysis will release? Gee I can be such a light weight sometimes…

To add just a bit more distraction I decided to fast today; I do this regularly just to rest my digestive system as this constitutes multitasking these days too. Do you know just how much nerve action is involved in digesting? Believe it’s a lot! Generally I just drink coffee and water for 24 hours which varies from being a clinch to incredibly difficult; today is proving to be the latter irritatingly. And as if that wasn’t enough I had to tax the car; OK that was pretty straight forward (once I found the MOT). But that left my brain cells too addled to get my head round the Morrisons Christmas voucher scheme but I’m confident that Friday Fairy will be able to advise (on the understanding that she gets the leftover spoils to top her festive card)!

To be stable enough to support me walking the crutches obviously need to be pretty rigid but they play havoc with sleeves. No matter how much I try I always seem to have cold wrists; I tried long gloves and long sleeves but nothing works.  And I’ve finally twigged why I’ve been slipping/sliding – I need new ferrules! The rubber tips need replacing just like tyres they wear out; how much more maintenance do I have to contend with? I have to tell you having a ‘chronic long term condition with no cure’ takes some management to keep on top of it!

neck pieceOn the plus side I’ve found the perfect solution to a cold neck; as a consequence of increasing weakness in my arms I’ve found drying my hair a challenge (that’s before you factor in a spot of straightening) so I had to accept that a shorter cut was on the cards. Why this couldn’t have happened in the summer I ask myself? I found this curious creation in the Washington Gallery in Penarth (and yes it was worth climbing the stairs for).

It fits snugly around the neck, perhaps a tad too high at the back when driving; there’s certainly a hint of an Elizabethan Queen! The flaps do need pinning down to get the full benefit; in a strong arctic gust ones cleavage could be at risk of exposure so I tend to add a small brooch to rein the appendages in! And I simply couldn’t resist adding this little ceramic pin; it amuses me and it disarms those readers daring to encroach my body space sufficiently to read the words…neck piece ironic embellismenth

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