Wisdom of Reindeers

photo 6 photo 32013 will be marked by a pink glitter deer head; of course Hobbycraft, the emporium of all such glorious craft ingredients can claim the above purchase – quite a bargain at £1 I’m sure you will agree! The Spinster, in her (less than) great wisdom has decided, after some considerable deliberation – (a full 20 odd minutes in 30 second bursts as the divine antlers catch my eye leaving the downstairs loo) – has decided pink glitter is so quirky its quite the epitome of sophistication (I do live in Barry darlings where a pair of these in miniature would make the perfect pair of Friday night in Weatherspoons earrings! The opportunities to seek ‘assistance’ from the guys when the antlers get caught in ones backcombed mullet are simply endless!)

Over the festive period Cruella, bored by the lack of attention has been meddling around in her hostess’s small’s drawer, the consequence of which has been muted chaos. Unmarried females, daughters, nieces etc are required implicitly to assist with the legion of food preparation to feed the daily intake of visitors from all corners of these Isles. Well Hertfordshire, Leceistershire, Teeside and Nottinghamshire as they gravitate to the familial County of Derbyshire! Even, if fact because of, my encumbered condition one throws oneself into the endeavour quite victoriously you could say – never one to pass up an opportunity to whip things into shape ladies; my trifle is always admired with leftovers invariably small in quantity and I am pleased to say this year was no different.

fruit tartOn Boxing Day I was against stiff competition with the Hertfordshire contingent producing three scrummy puds; note to self one is up against stiff competition from female cousin who last year made profiteroles with orange cream (I can’t imagine the amount of fine motor movements required for this puppies). This we were treated to a homemade chocolate roll of the Swiss variety; I remember making Swiss rolls in home economics, something involving a warm damp tea towel applied with rolling the cake to avoid cracking! Next year said cousin will have a 6 month old addition (that she is currently cooking) so with any luck she’ll be too busy but going on her embryonic commitment to ‘crafting’ I wouldn’t be surprised if she finds time to do something quaint with cupcakes – if only I could remember what it was she proudly showed me on her phone..

Returning to Wales for New Year twice in less than 24 hours the man from 2 doors up witnessed me sitting at the dining table – in the front room – typing or doing something unseen with my hands at least! Last night he went right to left presumably on the way to the pub; sensibly carrying an umbrella just in case. Then from left to right returning to home; this second time it is he who has something unseen in his hands. On both occasions he slows down, waves and smiles. Barry is a friendly town; sometimes a little too friendly allegedly the same gentleman sees himself as a bit of a ladies man which did make me a little wary when he was recommended when, (no pun intended), I had a problem with my (lead) flashing! When I offered to pay him walked away ladder in hand saying there was no need; I took an expensive bottle of whiskey round and his wife thanked me saying he’d enjoy it. Later I wondered momentarily at the wisdom of my choice as their relationship can be shall we say a little lively; i.e. he has been known to raise his voice when she commits some domestic crime.

On New Year’s Eve, I was once again seated in the front room (which when dark outside might as well be a shop window – apparently with a riveting display of goodies); and back lighting does very few people any favours (unless the angle is just right showing off the ‘hollow’ under my cheek bones of course). A man on a mobile stood talking in front of the house, when he sees me he says something as he waves a piece of paper assuming he is asking if I’ve ordered a takeaway I shake my head (although I have no idea what he was actually saying). I have been got out of bed around midnight by a man trying to deliver me an Indian that wasn’t mine; I gave him short shrift which he probably didn’t deserve but in my defence he had got me out of bed!

Both of these examples are the downside of working in the front of the house rather than in my office at the back but the temperature there at this time of year is a tad parky in spite of the radiator. Something to do with the extension bit being single skinned i.e. poorly insulated which might explain why the bowls of bulbs are doing rather well in there. I thought I’d be creative with a couple of glass bowls surplus to requirement by growing bulbs in them; a bit of colour in early Spring although at this rate they will end up outside as the bloody squirrels appear to have dug up the ones planted outside!

ReceiptsWhen doing my accounts yesterday sorting through the pile of receipts I came across one for strong mints and the Daily Mail purchased on 11 October 2012 at 915 am. It certainly isn’t mine – me and that particular newspaper I don’t think so somehow – how it came into my possession I’m curious as the shop was a branch of Tesco I am currently giving a wide berth to on account of it being patronised by for former friend with benefits. On the matter of receipts I sometimes keep the ones found in trolleys at Morrisons on the grounds of creative inspiration – you know imagine who might have bought the eclectic bunch stuff – rest assured one seldom gets around to developing a backstory!

And finally I would like to create a bye-law applied to Barry or even specific to the area my house is in I haven’t reached a settled view on geographical coverage thus far. The specific activity I propose to outlaw derives from something that occurred right outside my proverbial front door yesterday. And yes I am aware that I sound like Mrs Trellis of North Wales (a presumably invention correspondent sited in a Radio 4 game show)!

As I was getting bags from the boot of the car I could see a man running (intentionally for exercise purposes rather than away from the authorities – I kid you not last year I did witness a guy running down the street and literally leaping up and walking over a car roof). To avoid a potential collision I wait for the runner to pass, as he got to about 2-3 metres away from me my ear/eye was drawn to the sound of snorting, not once but twice. In his headphone soundscape bubble he seemed oblivious to the rest of the world or indeed for the need for a tissue; he was clearing his nasal passages! How gross is that?

On that ‘delightful’ note ladies I shall conclude these random reflections on the festive period by recommending a visit to Hobbycraft if you find yourself lost for a present (or card) idea! You too could find a little something to make you smile in the grey hinterland that is between Christmas and Easter – I wonder if they do a pink sparkly bunny?




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