It has been observed that the frequency of Victorious Endeavours activity has been reduced of late; it’s reassuring to know people are still reading so thank you! Really I do mean that. Cruella is relentlessly busy; in fact she seems to be indulging in a spot of recreational drug taking to improve her performance; nasty mean bitch! Oh and factor in the Spinster has been away quite a lot recently ironically on writing retreats during which I’ve continued to compose missives albeit in my head (thanks to an article about author MJ Hyland (also encumbered by her own version of Cruella) I am more focussed having followed up her brain enhancing tips) whilst musing creatively but somehow they haven’t converted into actual posts!
Cruella’s current focus is composing a lengthy symphony by playing music on my nerves; there is certain logic to this as she is by definition an expert in nerve activity. The manifestation is excruciating neuropathic pain accompanied by muscle pain as the symphony waves through the muscles and mustn’t forget the spasms as a crescendo! Is she a harpist one muses? Perhaps but most definitely a string player. The whole impact is my limbs aren’t amenable or biddable at least not by me! Anything involving my hands is at best random in outcome; typing, chopping, threading needles, plucking eyebrows etc Fine motor movements have become frustratingly ALL extreme sports! Especially where knives, tweezers or actually in all honesty any sharp objects or hot liquids or moving objects I could fall in the path of; oh lord one could be facing life housebound in a padded cell!
Anyway that’s quite enough about me! The Spinster knows how intolerant she can be, on occasions (and only doing the associated raised eyebrow/sighing things inside her head of course), of people who are self self self! So brace yerselves ladies I’ve got some cracking random musings for ya today! Now where was that list…?
Oh I lied; unintentionally honestly I should have consulted the list before writing the previous paragraph. Which I would had I been able to locate said list which now I have I promised (no fingers behind back qualification – which is obvious given the fact I’m typing whilst making this promise)! Today was an occasion to catch up with domestic administration including filing non specific stuff preferably without shredding the specific stuff before checking it needn’t need to file filed which is an all too frequent ‘trick’ of mine. Don’t kid yourself you’ve never done that!
During the review process during which I decide which to keep and which to shred/recycle etc I came across a letter from the RAC confirming my car insurance had been renewed. But I knew I had renewed it with Liverpool Victoria the documents sitting there bloody looking at me! Now I do confess I haven’t been exactly coping keeping on top of the challenges of daily living but I was pretty damaged sure I wouldn’t have let this one slip. And then I remembered hearing a programme about people complaining about finding themselves in the same position as a result practice of automatic renewals! That must be it and it was so ladies take heed and check you haven’t inadvertently found yourself in this position! I duly and might I add rather swiftly resolved the situation by telephoning the RAC who without question cancelled the policy and refunded the amount of the premium in full.
So once again back to the musings the Spinster is known for and a curious bunch they are this time I might add. Young people are our future and there can be no greater responsibility place in the hands of the unprepared than bringing up the next generation; or so I have always thought secretly thinking I’ve done society a great favour by not reproducing! When I was in the doctor’s waiting room, something I find myself spending a considerable amount of time doing these days, I was indulging in a spot of people watching. Barry is I have to say most instructive in this regard; a great deal can be learnt in this particular place not all of it good unfortunately albeit occasionally highly amusing!
A young woman arrived carrying a baby with a muted (by dummy) little girl of around 2/3 years old. The mother looked tired and the little girl busy in the way of toddlers who I always view with double suspicion these days because they are potentially lethal weapons to the disabled Spinster as their movements are unpredictable and they appear to be perpetually on an urgent mission of great importance. Perhaps they are secretly working in espionage as surely they would be exceptionally disarming as tiny spies to whom the criminal could be easily persuaded to divulge all manner of secrets!
The layout of the surgery is a huge, and I mean huge, open space downstairs opening out upwards to the double height roof. It must be incredibly expensive to heat especially with the automatic doors opening every time someone approaches them. Of course the inner doors have to be pulled/pushed which is a task I approach cautiously as these doors are incredibly heavy; the force needed to push them with my body is liable to render me prone munching the carpet! Unless someone, frequently and embarrassingly elderly jumps up to offer assistance which isn’t often; a lot of people become very interested in the things they are reading; a more reassuringly familiar response.
The young mother and her toddler are waiting upstairs; I am downstairs and can see them from where I’m sitting. The mother is engaged with her phone whilst the toddler is sitting methodically ‘browsing’ women’s magazines mimicking adult behaviour most amusingly. She first glanced at the cover nodding and moving her head from side to side as though having a silent conversation with herself. Once finished she placed the magazine on the side next to herself; it’s surprising how much she can say with the dummy in her mouth which she seems to be chewing rather than sucking. When a story is of interest she catches her mother’s attention by making a sound, her mother momentarily pauses from texting smiles encouragingly before both return the their own worlds. Where the baby has gone I wonder before realising it must be on the floor and it is to her sibling the little girl is talking. After a while the mother puts her phone away and turns her body towards her daughter looking at the floor at the baby who is presumably crawling around on the carpet.
At this point I notice a boy of about 5/6 (near my godson’s age) sitting near the girl he was playing a game on a small handheld device. Understandably one presumes out of view was the adult accompanying him although he only occasionally looked up in the girls direction as if he might be able to get her to be quiet and well less annoying! Minutes later a man emerged from the door through which are the doctors consulting rooms and he said something and the boy jumped up; he had been waiting for his father! OK I am aware my shock comes from the perspective of a childless woman but I couldn’t quite believe that someone would leave a child alone amongst strangers; surely that’s not right?
I commented that the waiting room was illuminating in terms of childrearing practice when I was called in to my doctor and he was astonished; this normally circumspect man said ‘really?’I wonder if the matter will be raised at a Practice Meeting? Curious as Ms Wonderland might say. I know there are some conversations you’d rather your children didn’t hear including complaints of an intimate nature but given how engrossed the boy had been in his game I doubt he would have paid much attention.
What was equally curious but for very different reasons was an older boy, one of those older teenagers who are what I’d call man boys. He was around 17/18 and he came out of his consultation with a prescription in his hand. He went to the receptionist desk and asked what he needed to do with the prescription. He’d evidently never been given one before which is pretty damned amazing not to mention pretty damned lucky. At this point I give him a closer look as I don’t think I’ve come across such a healthy specimen before; must have good genes is all I can say.
He was equally lucky in terms of the receptionist he got because had he got someone else he might not have had such a sensitive response. It might also had made it more difficult because this one is younger and very attractive. I then heard him say ‘you must think I’m really stupid to have to ask this but where is the nearest pharmacy?’ But she just smiled her winning smile which works with all of us; she’s just so lovely! ‘No of course not’ she responded before telling what to do and where to find a chemist. Customer service is so important and not just in shops.
In Helston where I was last week I was buying things in an old fashioned grocery shop, it was a bad day when my hands just were refusing to play ball. What it meant was that I was, what felt like, incredibly slow and I hate feeling like I’m holding other people up. This was even after I’d stood in the queue listening to a woman saying to her daughter, at some length, how she’d had £20 and where had it gone as if somehow her daughter was responsible literally for this shortfall. The woman behind the counter had quietly listened whilst discretely distracting herself slightly embarrassed at this inappropriately private conversation being played out in public. When serving me I apologised for being slow and she just said she wasn’t in a hurry and we didn’t do hurry in this shop which was so lovely and very kind. Another example of excellent customer service; kindness costs nothing and in her case, counter intuitive as it might seem, actually could be good for business.
And finally yesterday I went for a facial something I do occasionally to make me feel better not because I am under any illusion that it can halt the accelerated ageing process that this Spinster is undergoing in spades. Daily troughs full of prescription drugs coupled with chronic pain not to mention an established smoking habit all take their toll on ones skin! Whilst there I had an eyebrow procedure: shaping and tinting. The consultant administering the treatments has become a friend over the years and asked if I’d like to try the hot wax. This was apropos me asking for her opinion on the electrolysis I have been having on my chin (an unwanted ‘beard’ being unacceptable pour moi). She had recommended the place I’ve been going to when I’d asked in response to her commenting on the damage I was inflicting through over enthusiastic use of tweezers. My increasing incompetence often nipping the skin painfully although blood was amazingly never drawn! She got her magnifying mirror and scrutinised the area confirming all was reassuringly well. Sometimes a second opinion is useful; silent implied side swipe at the medical profession!
Yes the hot wax is a new procedure we’ve had training in and I could apply it to the chin just for good measure (having established there was a couple of weeks before my next electrolysis so the other practitioner would be non the wiser). And whilst we at it I could do your top lip! So you mean I’ve got a moustache that could be improved on? Thanks lady! OK I responded and off she went. It still hurt when it’s pulled off with little paper strips! She was obviously enjoying herself as she kept showing me how stretching it was forgetting how little I can see without my glasses. I would have liked a closer look at the hair I was saying good bye to or should that be au revoir…
When paying I was commenting on the impressive new computerised system and the receptionist was joining in extolling the virtues in terms of the detailed reports it can produce. The cost effectiveness of each consultant and stuff like that the 20 year old girl said revealing rather more sensitive staffing information as only a person of her age can offer without realising this might be inappropriate to give a customer! To change the subject my consultant, the owner, talked about the hot wax training they’d all undertaken including the 20 year old called Anais (hopefully not named after the perfume of the same name; twice).
My consultant had been talked into having a bikini wax as part of the training! Well she said before I knew it I’d had a full Brazilian continuing to say that at our age (early 40s) she’d begun to wonder if it was ever going to come back; a bit of a worry as her male partner had not be thanking her when she came home. No he’d just said ‘that looks …err.. really sore’ so much for men wanting their women completely naked! ‘What do you mean not coming back?’ asked Anais. Well you know when you get old you end up with a ‘granny muff’! Anais continued to look puzzled. She confessed she’d assumed that one’s pubic hair just went grey and because old ladies ended up with a beard upstairs the same happened well downstairs; she was genuinely shocked. My consultant and I just looked at each other and burst into fits of laughter! Another young girls education brought bang up to date; thank heavens I don’t face the prospect of plaiting into two matching parts and like Princess Lea rolling it out of the way; now then you really would have a reason to wear big pants!