Coco Chanel Versus A Hen Party – What Would You Choose?

Coco-Chanel-Collana-PerleI had hoped that as one embarked on the third day of ‘industrial’ strength antibiotics a degree of wellness would have returned. Yep the dental business discussed a couple of days ago resulted in not one but two abscesses; one under a filled tooth and a second where the injection was given! Yesterday morning brought a kind of ‘lock jaw’ tightness and then a tongue (followed by index finger) examination revealed a lengthening of the swelling in the second infection; technically one is informed this behaviour is called ‘tracking’ (always good to know ha ha)! But mustn’t grumble as the first one seems smaller and following a ‘brain enhancer’ one is feeling (mentally if not physically) sharper!

Cruella as a result has been having a field day or rather she has downed tools altogether deciding her host (moi) should be prevented from, well, doing pretty much bugger all! Irritating and frankly inopportune! For some reason ones senses, all, become more sensitive to whatever they’ve responsible for especially sight and sound; on reflection touch isn’t great either. So should you per chance bump (please not literally) in the Spinster refrain from stroking me! Not that this is a frequent occurrence one might add but with a noticeable shrinking of one’s person space – something not unfamiliar to many disabled people and curiously to pregnant women – anything is possible

So the ‘sudden’ appearance of loud construction noises, along with music from next door (the weather necessitating, understandably, all windows to be open), wasn’t entirely welcome! When I say ‘sudden’ it turns out residents had been informed something one was reliable told by my neighbour when I commented on it – the letter put through the door early Thursday evening from Welsh Water addressed to The Occupier apologised for 48 hours of noise whilst work was done to the sewage system. I confess not to rushing to clip clop and pick up something that appeared to be a circular! Curious timing as the work began on Thursday evening and continued throughout the night and the following 1-2 days; it had better be worth it especially as the location of the noise provoked recollections of ‘friend with benefits’ one hasn’t been in contact with for over a year, 13 months to be precise! Ha just noticed the (unintended) link with sewage!!!

On the subject of noise specifically ones neighbours the Spinster is reminded of a conversation, ironically overhead in the changing room, recently. It always amuses me how people are disarming honest/frank/open in the subjects discussed, and shared, when in a state of undress; naked we are unencumbered by the rules governing privacy (and the privacy of others). The fellow swimmer was moaning about her noisy neighbours and their children; barely acknowledging that a family of 6 including a teething baby involves a degree of crowd control! In the next breath, and this had me raising an eyebrow into me undergarments (the task I was attempting at the time (and yes I confess in a manner designed not to muffle my hearing more than momentarily), in the next sentence fellow swimmer went onto comment on how irritating it was not to be able to overhear complete conversations! How many times has one wanted to say ‘listen to yerself lady!’…

Where else does one glean local intelligence that is after all the lifeblood of the street?  Or indeed of the office? It reminded me of overhearing my own neighbour (lovely woman) telling Friday Fairy that I hadn’t been well; she’d heard me coughing through the wall during the night!! Heaven knows what else they say about me! Having decided to take a bath early evening yesterday I studiously ignored the doorbell; you know the moment when you’ve just got comfortable: right temperature, everything within reach etc? And then it went again! Teeth gritting (not literally as that would be too painful) irritation/concern – perhaps the persistence means the caller needs something? Of course (in my case at least) the physical response is to sit up to consider my next move; and then the decision was made for me. Why so you might reasonably ask?

Well. Not for the first time the Spinster might add. I bloody go and knock a nearly full pack of (supremely expensive VAT laden) cigarettes in the water! No no no were the words that came from my mouth as I ‘quickly’ attempted to rescue the slim brown, sophisticated, (in my opinion reinforced by a random colleague who commented that I made smoking look thus), and increasing wet fags! Of course not one is dry enough to be smoked in that much needed muscle relaxing bath!

Grumpily I put together, augment one might say, the random smells and sounds from next door. Barbecue smells, patio party preparation behaviour (dining table outside, swing seat moved and stripped of its ‘roof’ etc) and conclude the caller was probably her-next-door. And her a woman who one has discussed smoking habits with; her short commitment to the electronic variety (acquired in a shop in New Gale (clue in the name) when camping with the family) and the cost of tailor-made’s versus rollies! That this neighbour would be responsible for frankly ruining my bathing experience had me metaphorically spitting feathers! Of course she couldn’t possibly be held responsible rationally know that. BUT in that moment I was absolutely resolute, crisis or trivial request to borrow something (previously including a hoover and parcel tape), I was not answering the BLOODY door!

Of course the seething didn’t last; it never does anymore (well not really, apart from one thing but the ire isn’t nearly as strong as it was anymore). Later, not that much later as the temperature was no longer right, when deliberately in the garden, the Spinster casually enquired if said neighbour had rung the doorbell. ‘Yes it’s my hen night tonight and we’re having a BBQ so I was just giving you the heads up; it could get noisy!’.

Coco Film ImagePragmatically I shut the window and settled down to watch a DVD about the early life of Coco Chanel accompanied by my three vices: caffeine, nicotine and Fentanyl oh yes this Spinster knows how to have a good time! The addition of white and triple chocolate fingers confirmed that this was going to be a good evening; and it was, almost, only slightly marred by having forgotten the film was in French with tiny subtitles! So to complete the image place the Spinster’s glasses half way down her nose as advised by the Optician on account of ones age!!

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