Close Scrutiny

glassesThere can be few words more alarming for a sophisticated Spinster than ‘so are we doing your lip as well today?’ The context of the conversation monthly personal maintenance; shaping and tinting of ones eyebrows. Quite what one is supposed to say once such an issue has been raised? ‘Oh no let’s leave the moustache au natural today!’ Foraying into the world of the beautician tends to deliver an awareness of the ‘sins of excess body hair’; a vanity that frankly doesn’t come naturally to the Spinster!

It transpired that the Beautician had recently acquired some new hot wax that she was desperate to apply to pretty much any unsuspecting victim to cross the threshold of her emporium. So yes the Spinster allowed the substance to be smeared across her top lip, between her eyes (the mono brow is the height of facial hair crimes; Dennis Healey a lady is not) and underneath the bottom lip, the bit that is on top of the chin curve thing! Disturbingly the hot wax is stretchy; like melted sugar used to decorate posh puddings. And yes when it’s removed with little paper strips it does make a gal draw breath rather sharply; and no the moistening of the eyes is absolutely not down to tears!

Auntie, in spite of her challenging idiosyncrasies, occasionally offers advice both welcome and useful. None I hasten to add are her own ideas; this lady is influenced by the last person to whom she spoke! Auntie’s handy hints: shaping your eyebrows gives your face a lift; the genesis of this tip is lost in the annals of the Spinster’s cavernous memory, these days filled with a vacuum rendering ones thought process akin to an echo chamber! Oh the joys of a post 40 pharmaceutically addle brain! The other handy hint came from a talk given at Cameo; a ladies lunch club with a regular programme of speakers. Said speaker apparently told the gathered throng that a nude bra should be worn under white to avoid a lady’s undergarment’s been on view; this the Spinster has taken to heart as it’s absolutely spot on!

This week the Spinster is staying my parents house where rather extensive building work is being undertaken in the garden. The construction of raised beds and retaining walls to make the garden more manageable; a larger version of the Spinster safe arrangement in Wales. What is a bit weird is that the builder(s) are guys my age that the Spinster went to school with; seeing each other as proper adults for the first time. Let’s face it we are all in our 40s with 20 plus years of work experience behind us; and yet the Spinster found herself momentarily back in the school yard.

‘Do you remember me from school?’ the Spinster asked. ‘Yes and how’s your brother? the builder responded. Hmm I wonder what precisely this guy remembers; a wall flower of muted camouflage shades affording more than a degree of invisibility was the child the Spinster was 25 plus years ago. This guy I remember being attractive in a young teenager’s eyes; and now his slightly nasal camp local accent sounds, well odd. But we’ve all changed and none of us are oil paintings! But the Spinster could really have done with this guy keeping his t-shirt on; let’s face it I wasn’t about to reciprocate preferring to keep this particular flesh mound well covered! And yes ladies the Spinster does have a problem with man boobs; sorry but I do! And yet the craftsmanship with natural stone is really rather good…

On the subject of time passing the Spinster has been going to see the aforementioned beautician for over 10 years; we’ve got to know each other personally as well as professionally. The problem is we’re both of an age where close scrutiny requires assistance; glasses augment the eyeball functioning process. The first time she put her glasses on the attend to the Spinster’s eyebrows I didn’t think anything of it aside from silently noting that this gorgeous specimen’s visage was further enhanced with stylish frames. More recently the Spinster has noticed the tidying process is well not quite as tidy as it used to be; at what point does one take ones business elsewhere? Loyalty it seems comes with an element of compromise; let’s face it that’s what the Spinster’s clients have done albeit I don’t let any of them anywhere near me face with sharp implements!

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Filed under Musings of a Contemporary Spinster

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